Consider for a moment: what makes you truly unique? Is it your flair for fashion, quirky hairstyles, or eclectic taste in films? When I was in middle school, I used to have the syndrome we now understand as “pick me.” I wanted so desperately to be different from other girls, that I would do anything to find ways to differentiate myself — all of this, despite my very common obsession with One Direction. When we think about what makes us unique, we usually stay within an individualistic mind frame. But in fact, our identities are a product of our culture and that’s okay! This is something that we learn in Cultural Anthropology 101.

When I went to college and took my first cultural anthropology course, I was confronted with the idea that maybe I wasn’t so unique. In our first class, our professor orchestrated a simple, yet profound task: stand up if you own a pair of jeans — stay standing if you own two, three, four pairs and so on. Through this exercise, he demonstrated that even though we think of ourselves as individuals, we are all bound by common threads. We want to think of ourselves as unique and able to make decisions that reflect our personalities. I’m not saying that there’s an illusion of choice in our lives, but that there are wider social structures and processes that affect our ability to make choices. These processes become so intertwined with the very nature of our lives, that they become hard to identify.

Our identities are subject to change and redefinition, which may feel like a given based on the natural fluidity of life. Just as life evolves, so too do our identities — shaped not only by personal experiences but by the culture in which we are immersed. Different societies have unique approaches to living, which molds the individuals within those cultures. In the United States, we are often considered ego-centric, with the individual as the center of awareness. There is also a high value placed on self-reliance, competition, and success — which I am sure we are all supremely aware of, given the current state of the world. While cultures are not a monolith, individualism is the general belief that structures our culture in the United States. In contrast, some countries (like Japan), can be understood as more holistic and sociocentric, meaning the individual is part of the greater society. Again, we cannot put an entire nation into a box, but every culture has their own way of structuring their communities.

Ultimately, it can be uncomfortable to confront the fact that our choices are molded by the society that we live in. In a society that champions personal agency, acknowledging the sway of cultural norms can feel like an insult. In America’s hyper individualistic culture, it is absolutely imperative to understand that we are related to each other through our choices and that within this relation, we can find power. Recognizing the systems that shape us can only bring us closer to each other. So, as we think about what it means to be “unique”, let’s not just focus on ourselves but instead appreciate the collective beauty of humanity, where our shared experiences define who we are.